Today is my birthday, 49 years and I find myself in a somewhat strange place. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually I feel not quite here. Later today I shall be taking my husband to the hospital to have an operation to cut away the ‘C’ (I can’t even say the word let alone type it here), that has invaded his body. I wished it was me and not he, I told him, at least that way I could have a sense of control if that is even possible. I could bolster my armour to life and just get on with it, carry on as normal as I always do. After all isn’t it just another one of the challenges of every day? The fact that I’m on the verge of the menopause experiencing anxiety, palpitations, mood swings on a daily basis. The fact that I’m now faced with unbelievably huge challenges from my almost 18 year old who insists on pushing boundaries and rebelling to high heaven. The fact that the future is so uncertain..... it’s all just part of life isn’t it? Today is my birthday, 49 years and I find myself in a strange place!